I was sitting here thinking about the men I’ve known over the years. They fell into two categories – those that wanted to get involved in a serious way and those that didn’t. I’m not talking about sex here, for a change.
Case Number One: He wants to get serious. I don’t. He verbalizes his intentions and I feel a knot growing in my chest. It feels like a noose that is tightening and moving up my esophagus, chocking me until I want to scream or cry. Of course, I do neither. Instead I stutter some foolishness like, “I’m late for a dental appointment.” Anything, to get me out of the situation quickly.
Case Number Two: I want to get serious. He doesn’t. I should have been aware of the signs. It’s not as though they were cleverly disguised or anything. Does he work every weekend, holidays, New Year’s Eve, Christmas Day, Valentine’s Day? Of course, he’s married or in a serious relationship with someone else, using me as a diversion from the mundane.
Case Number Three: Our eyes meet, something goes ping in my head, I can’t disguise that little smile that suddenly appears on my face – and his. It all seems so right. His hands feel soft, his smile is warm. I don’t feel threatened or like I want to dash off to a dentist appointment.
Wouldn’t it be nice if you could make that happen at will? Maybe you can. In any case, it’s worth a try.